Believe it or not: shrunken heads attract shrunken minds

Today’s words of wisdom come from the manager at the Ripley’s Believe it or Not! museum in Gatlinburg.  The subject is shrunken heads.  “The more hair they have, the more valuable they are,” says the guy who should know.

The Knoxville News Sentinel has a good article on the extensive holdings of Ripley’s Entertainment in Sevier County. According to the piece, Ripley’s has an “investment in Sevier County of $80 to $90 million and employs about 400 people.” A trip to the Ripley website informs the cyber visitor that “our advanced odditiorium research will allow you to find a Ripley location near you.” Odd, indeed. Ripleys has locations from coast to coast, but the most fertile ground for this cash-vacuuming operation is Gatlinburg.

In this charming town, the company operates Ripley’s Believe it or Not(!) Museum, Ripley’s Haunted Adventure, Ripley’s Moving Theater, Ripley’s Davy Crockett Mini Golf, Ripley’s Super Fun Zone, and the Guinness World Records Museum. Nearby Sevierville hosts Ripley’s Old MacDonald’s Farm Mini Golf and another Ripley’s Super Fun Zone.

The flagship operation in Gatlinburg, however, is Ripley’s Aquarium of the Smokies, which offers perhaps the most sensationalist view of underwater life on the planet. Billboards on I-40 and the website trumpet SHARKS! complete with scary-looking photos of those undersea creatures. The aquarium itself, compared to the far better Tennessee Aquarium in Chattanooga, is a featureless tank in which bored sharks circle aimlessly while human visitors stand on a moving walkway that slowly transports them through a tunnel beneath the tank.

As H. K. Mencken put it so well, no one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public, and Gatlinburg and the talented Mr. Ripley’s company have every right to separate visitors from their dollars. Nonetheless, I think there is a direct correlation between the overall stupidity that so characterizes Gatlinburg and the “odditoriums” of shrunken heads that characterizes Ripley’s.

Believe it or not.

gburg-aquariumwtmk.jpg

This blog is part of a much larger website, also entitled Tennessee Guy, that contains travel and cultural information about Tennessee. Visit it here.

About these ads

One Response to Believe it or not: shrunken heads attract shrunken minds

  1. slew foot says:

    G-burg is an awful place run by a cadre of awful-ly dumb people. The motto of the city manager (a real head case) is “heads in the beds” That’s all they care about…sewer? clean water? traffic? who cares…we need heads in the beds…nothing else…pathetic

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: