Bible Park USA, the proposed Middle Tennessee version of Dollywood according to the Good Book, has just launched its website. Verily, verily, much is the hilarity therein. You just cannot make this stuff up. The backers of this scheme want tax dollars to develop the park, which they propose to locate in Rutherford County, much to the opposition of locals.
The website is long on promises and short on details, but here are the highlights:
- a recreation of Noah’s Ark and a play where animals from the Ark will act.
Ah yes, animals that act. Will the acting be anything like this?
- The Bible Park USA would be my firm’s second themed park project; we are currently developing the Hard Rock Theme Park in Myrtle Beach, SC, that will open in the spring of 2008.
And if things don’t work out and we have to merge the exhibits, we can always have Eric Clapton playing at the reception of the wedding in Canaan and Angus Young portraying Zacchaeus climbing the tree.
- Additional planned features include a Williamsburg-style working Galilean village
Stonings of adulterers will take place at 10:00, 2:00, and 4:00.
- An entire Teen area with an enclosed ride, coffee house and retail offerings
Enclosing the teenagers is always a good idea, and you can’t go wrong with “retail offerings.” Hot sellers can include Biblically themed cell phones, iPods, and backpacks.
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